I had read a lot of cougar mom stories, but never thought I would be part of one. When I was 23, one of my best friends moved out to another town. His new place was an apartment with a newly opened cosmetics store below. That’s where I first met her, Karen.
Karen was 23 years my older than me, a beautiful blonde, tall woman with a fine figure for her age. She wore her hair in a pony tail and had big blue mesmerizing eyes. You could tell from a distance that she took good care of her beauty and make up. Karen had just recently opened her new cosmetics store at around the same time my friend moved to the apartment above so while helping my friend moving in I saw glimpses of her and she saw me smiling at her through the window.
Since they were neighbors now, Karen had asked my friend if he wanted to attend the opening party of her new shop. There would be a live music band playing, some food and lots of older women. She specifically asked my friend if he could bring a couple of young guys to mingle in with the ladies and keep the party fresh and flashy. She also inquired about me, asked him who I was and told him that she thought I was handsome. This woman was a true cougar.
And so there I was, along with my friends on the opening party of her saloon, and so was her family, including her husband. Flattered by her comments I sought eye contact and got many, even so far as that our gazes held for at least 10 seconds each time our eyes crossed. My heart pumped very hard on these occasions. I noticed though that this beautiful woman, as jolly and smiling as she appeared had an empty, sometimes grieving look, especially when she was in conversation or near her husband. That look didn’t suit her, she looked best when she laughed.
While the party went on I got the chance to chat with her. Most part was small talk, then she mentioned she had a daughter who’d love to learn to play violin. As I was a violin player I offered her to teach her daughter to play violin for a small fee, weekly. For me this would be a chance to see Karen more often, as that day I started to get very interested in her.
As I said earlier: I didn’t quite have a very active sexual life back then. I would get my sexual gratification watching porn and tended to enjoy mature women videos more than other genres. As porn stars happen to be very fake and thus in my taste too unrealistic to liven up in the mind to jerk off to I naturally navigated to videos of older women where their wrinkles in their faces and over their bodies gave me a more realistic fantasy to play with. In that sense Karen became a live embodiment of those fantasies and with her apparent interest in me a realistic opportunity to live through them.
It felt too good to be true though. Why would a 46 year old married woman date a young man who might’ve been her son? I tried to distance myself from the feeling of excitement I felt when I thought of her and assured myself that her interest was just a mere case of teasing; like women tease men with no further interest, joking to laugh with her friends after.
So while giving her daughter violin lessons I tried not to focus too much on Karen, ignoring her and just doing my thing. After the hour was up I said a quick goodbye and just went home without too much conversation. This went on for a couple of weeks.
One day I was wrapping up the lesson and Karen beckoned me to come talk to her. She told me she had had a hard time financially and didn’t have the money to pay me for the lesson but also didn’t want me to leave unpaid so she offered me a free massage at her saloon. First I tried to talk her out of it saying that it was okay and she didn’t have to pay me now and that she could always repay me when she had the money. She insisted though, pulling out her calendar to make an appointment and I said heck why not.
When I went to her saloon for the massage appointment I found the massage room was well decorated with flowers and sensual aromas filling the space, relaxing lounge music playing in the background and those big blue eyes welcoming me in and asking me to take off my shirt. While I pulled the shirt out over my head I saw her looking at my body, her eyes filled with appetite, then she asked me to pull off my pants and then to lay down. She proceeded in giving me a very good massage. I was nervous as hell. You know how you don’t expect something to turn out and then that exact thing actually plays out and you don’t know what to do, well yeah.. that was me within that moment.
So we talked about relationships, hers with her husband and then she asked me if I had a girlfriend and when I told her no she asked why it was that a handsome man like myself didn’t have one. I told her that women my age didn’t quite understand me as I explained to her that I was interested in having deep conversations and not really someone who liked to go out and party in nightclubs and such, while girls my age did. Then we talked about monogamy and that she didn’t believe in it and that every person should have several relationships to fulfill ones needs, that she had cheated her husband with younger men before because she felt he couldn’t give her what she wanted anymore. This was going places I couldn’t have imagined in my wildest fantasies. By this time I was trying to hold my penis from getting hard by subtly trying to change the subject, with her sensual hands going over my body and the conversation going on you can imagine I had a pretty hard time maintaining composure.
Then she went out of the room for a moment and came back with two glasses of white wine telling me she needed some cooling down cause she felt “really, really hot”. We drank our glasses and the alcohol made me more relaxed. I wanted to kiss her so badly. But at the same time it felt so wrong, she would be cheating with me, what if her husband would find out? What if any of my friends would find out that I kissed a woman the age of my mother? In a glimpse I felt ashamed of wanting to kiss this woman for the impact it might have when found out. Ashamed of the fact that if I pursued her slightly open and awaiting lips, then I would be seducing someone in cheating her husband with me. Is this who I am, I kept asking myself.
Then I let it all slide with just one blink of her eyes, they were hypnotizing. I stood up, walked towards her hold her and slowly savored every inch of her lips feeling the warmth of her tongue against mine. Yes, this was really happening. My grip holding her tight, I laid her down on her back on the massage table and started taking her clothes off. I kissed her feet and through her legs slid down to her pussy, she was all wet and well, I loved the taste, I loved her taste and I felt her whimpering from time to time, her face blushing red while she moaned. She came and that was the best I had ever, while going down on a woman, ever. Afterwards she told me she hadn’t felt like this in three years (assuming that was the last time she was with another man).
This made me feel delighted and sad at the same time. A woman as beautiful as herself had not felt like this in three years? It was unfathomable to me, if she was mine I would let her feel like this all the time. And for a moment I felt empathy for who she is with, her age, her children, the fact that she can’t turn time back even when she wants to so badly.
As the weeks went on I came to visit her for a massage more often as this was the time she “worked” and the likelihood of us getting caught was near to nothing. Each time we locked ourselves up and felt it was the greatest sex ever. As I touched her, caressed her, and whispered sweet words into her ear I felt we developed feelings for each other. I could tell by the way she looked at me, it had changed from pure lust to being on the verge of big emotions.
Yet each time I went to meet with her I felt a bit more ashamed of our deeds. What happens if this becomes love? Do we come out for it? What will my friends think? What will my parents think? What will her husband think, her children!? As much as I cared for her, I could never let this secret come out. It was between me and her and I took care of keeping things very, very discreet.
Until her husband found out.
He had taken her phone and looked through it and found our texts, she then called me crying that it was over between us and that her husband threatened to hit her if she didn’t stop our affair. This guy was nuts. She denied everything to him and made him feel assured that there was nothing going on between me and her anymore.
Around this time her husband became more aggressive and violent toward her. He wanted to have sex with her and that she had to give it to him, to show him she really loved him and it was only him she had sex with. I was shattered by her quivering voice when she called me late nights after her husband, without her consent, had sex with her. Things were getting out of hand. He was very suspicious and monitored her every move. But she couldn’t let go of me, she loved me.
Her husband started appearing at her work unannounced so that left us no option to meet quietly. The texts we send each other became less frequent out of anxiety of her husband going through her phone again One time while Karen and I were in the massage room together, door locked we heard his voice calling for her and trying to open the lock hoping to find us in the heat of the moment, I managed to escape through the back door before him coming in. He had been telling the kids what their mother was up to, screwing a young man. I can imagine how that might have felt for Karen. Her daughter knowing that guy who gave her violin lessons was having sex with her mother. It was around this time Karen did not know what to do with our affair anymore, we were trapped and things were getting out of hand.
So there it was. One text, to break it off. It said something like: in another lifetime we would’ve conquered the world but in this it’s just not possible for you and I to exist anymore. I love you, always. Since then, I have not heard from her again. And to be honest, I haven’t tried reaching out to her as well. It was over.
In her I saw a beautiful, yet troubled woman seeking to escape the everyday adversity in her life. She had found that sparkle in herself through me and our affair. That sparkle that lit her big blue eyes to shine brighter than any pearl I’ve ever seen.
I’m wondering how she’s doing now, many years later since. I think she’s back at the drag of her old life, ever seeking, ever hoping to break free. Awaiting a pair of hands to find and reveal her pearl again.
Maybe one day, in another life, Karen.